I had a wonderful Valentine’s day this year. If you think that by “wonderful” I mean that my husband took me out on a hot air balloon ride which was followed by a surprise trip to Paris and then we drove to Iceland the same day – no, this is not what I mean. To be fair to myself, normally that would be my definition of wonderful, but not this time.
I woke up. I read. I ate breakfast my husband cooked. I unwrapped my gifts and squeaked few times. I went back to bed. I stayed in bed and my pj’s till 5 pm. Yes, 10 am to 5 pm. I read. I texted my friends. I had few cups of tea. I talked to my mom. I browsed Facebook and Instagram. I annoyed my cat. I went through the photos from my previous travels. I told stupid storied to my husband, sometimes yelling them across the house. All that not moving away from the bed. Few times I started feeling guilty about not being productive and not checking the items off my never ending, ever growing to-do list – and that guilt was taken away next moment by my husband saying “When was the last time you did nothing? That’s right. Stay put”.
In the evening though we went out to our favorite restaurant and that forced me out of my lounge wear, though I swear if only I could wear it out, I would.
For the past few years I thought and felt that the moment I stop – I die. I was and am filling my calendar and to-do list faster than I can do all these things. And I am very well aware of the reason for this sometimes neurotic behavior – there was a time in my life when I had very little to do, I was extremely bored, unhappy and miserable and I wasn’t yet smart enough to realize that I’m the only one who can change the situation. When the big revelation happened to me few years ago, I went a little bit overboard with living an active life and am still looking for the balance between being happily busy, being completely exhausted and being miserably bored.
This Sunday spent doing nothing did miracles to me. Today I did some work, went to the gym, did laundry, went to the store to get some staff for the house, cooked, cleaned, enrolled into an online course and while I am writing this, my blueberry to be macarons are rising in the oven. I am writing this post as a reminder to myself that stopping does not necessarily means death. It often means recharging your batteries so you could fly even higher the next day.