Friends And The City


Over the past few days I have been contemplating a lot on the friendship. Not sure what prompted it. Could be my ex-colleague posting the pictures from 10 years ago where we are all young, restless and guys have way much hair than they do now. Could be me watching the Sex and the City movie last week and remembering the time I first watched it with one of my besties in the movie theater almost 8 years ago.  Could be someone who used to be a close friend being for couple weeks just few hours drive from me and us not arranging to meet because we somehow grew apart over the last years. Could be me being strangely heart-warmed to see a text from a person who I once swore I won’t ever speak again to. Most likely it was all of these things together plus few other things.

Friendship is not easy when you are an adult. It becomes more challenging to make new friends. It becomes way harder to deal with breakups with those who once knew you better than anyone else. It’s not always easy to be happy for your bff when she is getting a job promotion or meets Mr. Right when you are unemployed and single. It can be hard to find words to console your heartbroken friend when she is dealing with divorce, postpartum, parents issues or job loss. It gets harder to get together because life gets busier and busier and the schedules do not coincide; and when they do – you do not necessarily have the energy to hang out or to even pick up the phone.

In a perfect world Charlotte York attends New York Fashion Week with her girlfriends and goes on an impromptu trip to Mexico to help Carrie mend her broken heart. In real life quite often the only social outing for a mom of the toddler is drinking a cup of Starbucks with another mom of the toddler when the kids are playing in a sandbox.

They say, if you ever moved between cities or countries, you will always have part of your heart left in that other place. Me having changed countries 3 times… you can imagine how it feels sometimes. Thanks to the technology the distance is not felt as bad as it could be, but you know, sometimes you just want to talk eye to eye, and not WhatsApp to WhatsApp.

In a perfect world Samantha Jones flies across the country for every little occasion in her friends group – or just because. In real world a weekend with your friend when you live in different time zones can be a long sought after dream.

On the other hand… Friendship gets more rewarding as you mature. You know you share same values because the older you get the less hypocritical (hopefully) you become and it eliminates so much of the crap from the relationship. You can work out most of the disagreements – provided you both want that. You can better relate to each other worries and issues because most likely you’ve lived through something similar as well – and thus you can be a better help and support. You’ve most likely been through some rough times together so you don’t need to keep your “Miss Perfect Life” face on when all you want to do is throw a stupid coat on top of your pjs, run across the city under the snow and just snuggle together with your best friend crying over your broken heart on New Year’s Eve – just like Carrie Bradshaw did.

From all the scenes in that movie that one was most promising and realistic, if you ask me.


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