For the past couple weeks my brain was so crunched at work, I needed to watch something to unwind and to not think much. Sex and The City, which I watched couple times before, seemed like a perfect choice. I remembered the general canvas, I knew they were not discussing nuclear physics, I love New York…so I dived into binge-watching.
Turns out when you are 32, the perception of love, relationship and men is so much different from your early 20s. Back then I used to think that some women are just unlucky to fall in love with the total jerk and what can you do. Yes, I deemed Mr. Big a total jerk, was sympathizing with Aiden and thought Berger was a cook guy to hang out with. This time around I totally reconsidered.
Think Aiden. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Hard to find anything bad in Aiden. Good-looking, caring, family oriented guy, who was so ready to commit. I almost felt bad for him until he started being so pushy about them getting married. Dude, the girl just told you she needs time to adjust to all the changes in her life. She said yes to the marriage proposal. You moved in together. Show some respect here, will you? I understand the whole trust issue, but by the age you are in, don’t you know that trust and official tying the knot aren’t always the same thing? Why did you have to push your agenda so hard?
Think Berger. I did not remember that part of the show from the previous time I watched, but the guy started to get on my nerves almost immediately. Drama queen, who flirted with her for a day, before announcing he had a girlfriend. Who was completely unable to function unless he was praised and admired. Who ruined multiple nights out because he “didn’t feel like it”. Who kept sending her on guilt trip for being a more successful writer. Who broke up with her on a post-it note for God’s sake.
Think Petrovsky. I don’t even know where to start. If I were Carrie, I would have stopped daring the artsy guys right after Berger. Way too much drama. Here is Petrovsky, being rude to her friends because they came in at the wrong time. Here he is, giving Carrie an ultimatum about moving to Paris. Here he is, not bothering to come to the lunch he arranged for Carrie and his ex. Here he is, ruining her opportunity to make new friends in a new place because he needs to hold her hand during the museum event. Here he is, abandoning her 5 minutes later. Here he is, always putting her aside for his work. Here he is, not giving a shit about her after she dropped everything in New York to be with him.
And now think Big. He is smart and fun and adventurous. He is very upfront about wanting to take things slowly. He never leads Carrie on. He respects her boundaries and watches out for his to be respected. It’s not the matter of emotional unavailability as many say – it’s the matter of knowing who you are, what you want and how much you are ready to give. He might not be the lovey-dovey type, but look, he is offering her to spend a long weekend with him in the Caribbean, and he is coming to meet her friends even though he is tired, and he is obviously missing her after they break up, and he is so ashamed to realize he had hurt her so much when he reads her book, and he reaches out time over time and each time it’s only getting more clear how deep his feelings are. This time around the guy clearly went from zero to hero in my eyes. If only Carrie had a little bit more patience… But then there would be nothing to make a show about, right?
Big things in life do not necessarily appear big in the beginning. But if you give them time and space, they will grow. I know it for a fact.