Think Big


For the past couple weeks my brain was so crunched at work,  I needed  to watch something to unwind and to not think much. Sex and The City, which I watched couple times before, seemed like a perfect choice. I remembered the general canvas, I knew they were not discussing nuclear physics, I love New York…so I dived into binge-watching.

Turns out  when you are 32, the perception of love, relationship and men is so much different from your early 20s. Back then I used to think that some women are just unlucky to fall in love with the total jerk and what can you do. Yes, I deemed Mr. Big a total jerk, was sympathizing with Aiden and thought Berger was a cook guy to hang out with. This time around I totally reconsidered.

Think Aiden. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Hard to find anything bad in Aiden. Good-looking, caring,  family oriented guy, who was so ready to commit. I almost felt bad for him until he started being so pushy about them getting married.  Dude, the girl just told you she needs time to adjust to all the changes in her life. She said yes to the marriage proposal. You moved in together. Show some respect here, will you? I understand the whole trust issue, but by the age you are in, don’t you know that trust and official tying the knot aren’t always the same thing? Why did you have to push your agenda so hard? Continue reading


“He Was My Everything”…


This morning has started with two very sad news. Two women I know have lost their husbands – absolutely unexpectedly. One is young and has 3 little kids. The other one is in her late 50’s and it was just two of them for many years. I wasn’t too close with any of them, but close enough to imagine how their lives will be affected.

When things like this happen, it always strikes me how we mostly never think how good we have it until we don’t. How most of the things don’t even matter in a big picture as long as you can hold the hand of the one you love. How fights and disagreements are a waste of time you can otherwise spend enjoying your loved one being around.

I know it sounds terribly cliche, but just for a second pause and think how blessed you are to have this person in your life. Go hug them. Tell that you love them. Tell them how much they mean to you.

I will.

Friends And The City


Over the past few days I have been contemplating a lot on the friendship. Not sure what prompted it. Could be my ex-colleague posting the pictures from 10 years ago where we are all young, restless and guys have way much hair than they do now. Could be me watching the Sex and the City movie last week and remembering the time I first watched it with one of my besties in the movie theater almost 8 years ago.  Could be someone who used to be a close friend being for couple weeks just few hours drive from me and us not arranging to meet because we somehow grew apart over the last years. Could be me being strangely heart-warmed to see a text from a person who I once swore I won’t ever speak again to. Most likely it was all of these things together plus few other things.

Friendship is not easy when you are an adult. It becomes more challenging to make new friends. It becomes way harder to deal with breakups with those who once knew you better than anyone else. It’s not always easy to be happy for your bff when she is getting a job promotion or meets Mr. Right when you are unemployed and single. It can be hard to find words to console your heartbroken friend when she is dealing with divorce, postpartum, parents issues or job loss. It gets harder to get together because life gets busier and busier and the schedules do not coincide; and when they do – you do not necessarily have the energy to hang out or to even pick up the phone.

In a perfect world Charlotte York attends New York Fashion Week with her girlfriends and goes on an impromptu trip to Mexico to help Carrie mend her broken heart. Continue reading

Age Is Just a Number Or I am 32 Today


  So… 32.:) Since the first digit of my age flipped to 3 from 2, I stopped caring about the number that defines how long it’s been since I was born, because guess what? it really does not matter. How many times I heard this in my teens or early twenties – gazillion, but I never believed it, but turned out my mamma was right. So if you are under 25 and for some reason are reading this – age does not matter. If you are over 30, you’ll probably agree.
If I were asked by my younger self what’s the best part of being the age I am – I’d say “not giving much shit”. Turning your focus of attention from outwards to inwards. Knowing what you want and how to get there – more or less. Understanding that all the relationships you have – with the partner, parents, friends, colleagues, work, self – is your own choice.  Being able to say yes to things without thinking how it looks to others. Being able to say no to things without thinking how it looks to others. Not being too afraid to fail because you already know nothing is constant and you are kinda fine with it.

I am mainly writing it to re-read my own preaching next time I am pissed, upset, frustrated, uncertain and giving too much shit.

Not wanting it to sound like an Oscar speech I will still say there are so many things and experiences I am thankful for to the previous year of my life. Not only nice and fancy things, but also those that made me cry, reconsider, live through, overcome, accept and let go.

32 feels great. Let’s all turn 32 – unless you know for sure it only gets better from here:)